Day 11: Tune into your self-talk
Posted by kathryn in Uncategorized
!</images/0000/0648/Scales.jpg (hunger & portions)!
Today’s task in 31 Days to a Better Diet is centred around controlling hunger and the portions you eat. If you’re following this group of posts, they’re marked by the picture on the left.
Do you ever find yourself saying “once I’ve had the first chocolate I just can’t stop myself”? Or “I can’t keep ice-cream in the house because I know I’ll eat it all”? Or “once I ate that first chip they were gone in seconds”?
This is often the way we talk about foods like chocolate, ice-cream, cake and lollies. The conversation is around control and our lack of it. As though we’ve been taken over by some entity which is manipulating what we do.
Who’s in control?
When we’re children our parents dictate much about what we eat. They provide the meals and control the food supply. They pack our lunch box or give us lunch money. They cook dinner; say no to that extra bowl of ice-cream; buy us the treats we are allowed.
However once you become an adult it’s up to you. There’s no longer anyone else dictating what and when you eat. It’s up to you to choose, buy and prepare your own meals.
The more you tell yourself you’re out of control, the more you are likely to over-eat.
Negative self-talk
You might understand that criticism from others can affect your confidence. But did you also know that criticism from yourself can be far more damaging?
As you go about your daily life you’re constantly thinking about and interpreting the world around. It’s like an inner voice, and this is called self-talk. Often this internal voice is innocuous: “I’d better pick up some onions for dinner” or “I’m really looking forward to the weekend”. Everyday reminders and strategies.
However self-talk can also be unhelpful and damaging to your self-esteem. I’m a failure, I’m so fat, I can’t control myself are all examples of negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk can be constant and unrelenting. It can distort your perceptions, magnifying flaws and denying successes. Negative self-talk will make you feel bad about yourself.
But most significantly negative self-talk can also make you behave in self-destructive ways. If your self-talk is that “once I’ve had the first chocolate I just can’t stop myself” you almost certainly will eat the whole block.
Tune into your self-talk around food
Today’s task in 31 Days to a Better Diet is to try and tune into your self-talk around food. This can be hard at first. But the more you do it, the more aware you will become. Ask yourself:
- What’s going on in your mind?
- What do you keep thinking about?
- What are you saying to yourself?
- How am I feeling?
As I said, it can be tricky at first. We are so used to this internal voice, we often don’t realise it’s there. If you’re having problems or want to know more, take a look at this self-talk factsheet.
Try to listen-in today and find out what your self-talk is telling you
Scales photograph by Benjamin Earwacker.
11 August, 2008
Comments
I’ve just missed the last four days because life happened but I’ve but a summary on my blog. In short, emotional eating used to be a big problem in my life but I have identified my trouble spots and I keep on looking out for slipping.
Even when I slip up, I tell myself this was a once off thing and that things can and will be better in the next second or minutes and that by not continuing the self-destructive behaviour I am already doing less damage. It also helps that I refuse to buy myself trigger foods unless I know I am in control and I know that I will not allow it to rule what I eat. That said, there are some days that I just want a bowl of pasta with tomato sauce and I still end up making something with lots of veggies and easy on the calories.
What a fantastic website – Reachout (the link for the self talk factsheet).
Great post Kathryn. I’m really enjoying the 31 days – it’s so pragmatic and despite much of it being “routine” for me I am still getting heaps out of it.
What I love the most is that it’s not always about food.
such a fantastic series. thank you. it’s really interesting to pay attention to things that our bodies are telling us – things that we take for granted.
Grocer – so much of eating well is not about the food. It’s about mindset, routine, being organised, emotions, family situation. And of course you have to want to do it, make it a priority.
I’ve seen the updates of your involvement on your blog – interesting to read how you’re going.
Bee thanks so much, glad to hear you’re enjoying the series.
My self talk is telling me that because I’m tired and stressed and working hard, I deserve some of that fundraiser chocolate. Also that when I’m stressed I can’t help eating.
Was it you or crankyfitness that had that awesome post about entitlement? It was me all over. I’m trying to persuade those inner voices that I’m entitled to fit into my trousers, with variable success.
I should’ve added that I wouldn’t have got around to thinking of a rebuttal to my self talk if I hadn’t read this article!
this is what i struggle with. i love food. i eat more fruit and veg than i ‘have’ to because i love them. i eat all the healthy food groups and snack on yoghurt, nuts, dried fruit or veg.
my problem is that i talk myself into eating bad foods to comepensate for how i am feeling – tired, angry, sad, bad day at work. i think i ‘deserve’ chips becasue my day sucked. i hate my job so this is getting worse
my other bad habbit is too big a dinner. me and hubbie usually eat together and we are both active people but my hubbie is one of thos naturally thin people, and i tend to eat as much as him! this is bad, and explains the 5kg that have creeped on since my wedding in march!!! i also cook more hearty meals to please my hubbie (which are still healthy but may contain more oil/ butter etc than i used to add) whereas as i single girl i was happy with a salad/ steamed vegies for dinner
Gwyneth – it was Cranky Fitness who had the article on entitlement, I just linked to it in a Friday Quicklinks posts. In fact it’s such a good article and so relevant to this topic that I’m going to link to it again.
“I deserve”, “I work so hard”, “it isn’t fair” are three phrases I hear with startling regularity. While I get that life is difficult and work can sap the joy from our lives, it’s about questionning why that translates into a bar of chocolate.
The keys are finding other ways of reducing your stress, finding other ways of rewarding yourself, truly believing that your health is the more important. Easier said than done? Yep.
This is hard, hard stuff and it won’t change overnight – but only you can make these changes, nobody else can do this for you.
Ran – time to re-focus on yourself? Make more meals to suit you. While you’re both active, you still don’t need anywhere near as many kilojoules as your husband. Smaller portions and fill your plate up with veggies – meaning you’re having less of the hearty foods and their fat content.
It is possible to savour and enjoy smaller quantities of food and you don’t have to eat everything you enjoy today. Plus watch the changes in your energy levels and sense of “health”, as you eat less.
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